According to the Dictionary, "Gratitude [is] the quality of being thankful; [and the] readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness." With this in mind, I begin my Blog Post with Gratitude.... I am grateful for You. The You that is reading this post; whether you agree with my words or not, I am thankful for your presence. Gratitude is a word that I have been hearing a lot, especially leading up to Thanksgiving Weekend. (By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours). I feel that it is a shame that we only focus on Gratitude as a collective once a year. Gratitude is meant to be expressed daily; and no matter the circumstances, there is aways something to be thankful for. I've noticed that Gratitude is often only shown for Positive things and circumstances; so, what about the challenges we face? I believe that it is important to find Thankfulness, even in the midst of our challenges, as it can remind us of how good things truly are. Let me share with you my experiences, and what I am grateful for within my challenges.... I must admit that this Year has been full of Challenges for me as an individual, and as an entrepreneur. Things don't always go as planned or as I envisioned... and honestly, that's okay. I set out on a New Path this year, as I slowly dissolved the Team I had built up; taking on the Full Responsibility of being an Entrepreneur. It was not easy for me to watch two powerful women walk away; but I knew that it was something I had to go through. I struggled for days trying to come to terms with letting them go and how they were feeling about me; as well as trying to do everything on my own. However, I am thankful for the experience. I got to know what it was like to run a team, and it really wasn't for me. I disliked trying to organize and manage a team... it was more than I wanted to do. I am thankful to have had the experience of a team, just as I am thankful for these women who were on the team; they opened me up to new ideas. In the end, I believe they have grown just as much as I have. I watched as a Friendship dissolved in front of me, right on the screen of my phone. She had been a good friend of mine, but in the last two to three years.. things were just starting to fall apart. Towards the end, I felt like I couldn't trust her or even be myself... and I kept trying despite these feelings, as I know she had been through a lot. I just didn't know how to support her without hurting myself. And yes, a friendship takes two people... I know I'm not 100% innocent in the dissolving of our friendship. Do I wish she would have accepted me with all of the challenges I was going through? Of course. When everything came out on her end, I was shocked by what she said about me and the things she was going through. I am thankful that she was doing what she saw was best for her, and I hope things are going well with her. As for the things she said about me... it cut me deep. I cried for hours, and took the time to analyze myself. Some things I knew I would work on or was already working on, and other things just weren't true. Am I thankful for this? Yes. I am grateful for the chance to work on myself, and to know who I really am without a doubt - faults and all. In the end, it was better for us to move forward; as our parts in each other's stories were concluding and our paths were diverging.
As I said earlier, it has been a difficult year for me... in the Spring my grandfather was rushed to hospital. My grandfather is someone I have been particularly close with my entire life; so, it was not something I was ready to face. Since then he has been moved to a respite home, and is waiting to get into a long term care facility. He has been facing Dementia/Alzheimers for a few years; however, in the last 8 Months, he has been slipping rather quickly. It's been challenging to see him slip so quickly; and not being able to have the same deep conversations that we did... well that's even more difficult for me. I miss those conversations like you wouldn't believe. He knew how to keep me grounded, and he challenged my views. I am thankful that he is still around and is comfortable. I am thankful for all that he taught me in the last 26 years. I am thankful that I got the chance to know him and share some wonderful times together. I am thankful for the strength that I am gaining from this experience, as well as the vulnerability I am learning to have. I am thankful for all of the challenges I have faced this year, as they have allowed me to grow, examine myself, gain self-understanding, and a chance to learn. Without these adversities, I would not be the person I am today. Sometimes when we are in the midst of things, it is difficult to find things to be Grateful for... I recommend that you still work on finding things to be grateful for, as it will change your outlook. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my Blog post, I hope it came with information and gave you a way to be Grateful for the things you've been through. Below you will find a list of other things that I am Grateful for.... I encourage you to start your own Gratitude List. I am Grateful For .... - The Home I live in
- The Food in my Fridge
- My loved ones (Family & Friends) - Those of you that attend my classes
- Those of you that come for Reiki Healing
- My Trainings that I've been through (Yoga, Reiki, Meditation)
- The trainings that are yet to come
- The opportunities I have been blessed with
- The Challenges I face.
- The things I know and the Knowledge I have
- My Healthy and Balanced Body, Mind & Spirit
- My car that gets me to and from where I'm going
- The spaces I teach out of
- The Family cottage
- My eyes that choose to see the best in people and the beauty around me